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<title>to go on (without her) would be absurd by LiveLaughLovex</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27377497">to go on (without her) would be absurd</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiveLaughLovex/pseuds/LiveLaughLovex'>LiveLaughLovex</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Code (TV 2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Introspection, Marriage, Post-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:08:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>300</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27377497</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiveLaughLovex/pseuds/LiveLaughLovex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Logically, he knew he hadn’t loved her all his life. It was just proving difficult for him to recall a time when he didn’t.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>John "Abe" Abraham/Harper Li</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>to go on (without her) would be absurd</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I was already complete when I met him. He just filled my life with so much color, <i> to go on without him would be absurd. </i> - B. Diaz</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Abe knows, logically, that he hasn’t loved Harper his entire life.</p>
<p>It’s impossible. He didn’t meet her until he was thirty-three, after all, and he’d spent the better part of that first year of their acquaintanceship doing everything he possibly could to drive her up a wall. And yes, perhaps, as time went on and circumstances forced him to confront his feelings, he had come to realize that his annoying her might very well have been a way to hide that he had feelings for her, but he didn’t love her then. Not from the very moment he met her, at least. He was… charmed by her. Enchanted, maybe, by her beauty and her charm and the extraordinarily obvious way in which she loathed him. He tried to get under her skin simply to prove – to Harper and to himself – that he could do so.</p>
<p>(There might be merit to his sisters’ semi-regular insistence that he needs a shrink more than any other person they know. That’s an issue for another time, though.)</p>
<p>The point is, he knows he hasn’t loved her his entire life. They’ve worked through many things to get to where they are now. They’ve worked through Jason, through Alex, through Bard; through Helmand and Idlib and that day of horror they’d witnessed in Garmsir, two weeks after her return from Maine. It had not been a quick, painless process. It took time, and effort, and a great deal of heartbreak, but they had done it, anyway. They’d done it without complaint, because they’d both always known where they truly wanted to end up, and that was right here.</p>
<p>So, no. Abe hasn’t loved Harper all his life. But, as he watches her walk down the aisle, he can’t seem to recall a time when he didn’t.</p>
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